Homeschool, private school, or public school? That is the question.

Patrick began receiving public services since he was a little over one year old. He received speech, occupational and physical therapy. Once he turned 3, due to his developmental delays he qualified automatically to be enrolled in the public preschool, and since then he has his very own IEP (Individualized Education Program) to learn more about his preschool setting, click here. 

Patrick is 5 now, and it's time to consider kindergarten. These are our options:

Public School:

Pros: 

• Patrick's IEP states that he qualifies for services from the county. If he continues in the public system, everything that he qualifies for, will be given to him, at no additional cost. That means, speech therapy, occupational therapy, accommodations, and probably a one-on-one aide for a few hours a month to ensure he isn't lagging behind. 
• There are good chances that Patrick won't be the only one with developmental delays in his class, so he won't feel like he is the only one behind. Also, teachers should be more familiar as to how to work with these children since they may have more experience. 
• Our taxes are already paying for public school, so no additional cost. The money saved could be used towards private therapies, and to sign him up for a few activities like sports, music or arts and crafts.
• Many people seem to think that this is the best option for him based on his special needs.

Cons: 

• Too many students. Patrick has been doing well in a setting of 7 children per class. Public system could mean 30 students or more. 
• It's the public system. I have heard so many bad things about standardized tests, young children not being able to play enough or have recess, teaching them things that often parents not even agree on, and the list goes on. 
• More prone to bullying. I'm afraid his self-confidence can be compromised, when other kids his age start picking on him because he can't do what others can, because his speech is not clear and so on. 

CONCLUSION: Patrick has his big IEP meeting in 3 weeks. All my questions shall be answered. After this meeting I should have a better idea about what the public system believes my son needs, and what they could offer in the public system, private school or if I homeschool. 

Private School.

Pros: 

• Slightly less children than in the public system. 
• It's Christian based, so he will not only receive your regular school education, but will be also based in the same Christian principles in which we are raising our children. 
• I have several friends whose children attend this school, and they all say great things about it. 
• My husband really wants him to go to this school. 

Cons:

• It's the most expensive option of the three. 
• It's likely that only a few of the services in his IEP will be provided at this school. The school may not be able to provide him with all the accommodations he may need.
• There is an assessment in order to be accepted. Chances are, he will not pass! They gave me a list of all the things he should know (ABCs, counting, colors, shapes, drawing, answer info about him...) and he hardly knows anything!

CONCLUSION: Patrick's assessment is next week. If he doesn't pass, well, they are making the decision for me, leaving me to choose between the other two options. If he passes, however, I would be back to where I'm. This week I'm meeting with a mom who has a child at this school (3 grades up) with Joubert Syndrome, this should give me a better perspective of what this school can offer for my son.

Homeschool 

Pros:

• It would give him some time to catch up. Patrick seems to improve faster the more he learns to talk. So perhaps, if he has a year off from mainstream school, and we focus on his speech and some extracurricular activities to target his developmental delays, he could be really ready to go mainstream for elementary school.
• It would give us freedom to choose a variety of activities he enjoys, like swimming, music, cooking, gardening, construction... and we wouldn't be necessarily overwhelming him. Regular kindergarten hours are from 8am to 2:30pm Monday to Friday. All these activities I could sign him up for, however, wouldn't take nearly as much of his time, so he would still be able to take a break and enjoy his childhood playing!
• I would be in charge of what he learns. I would be able to customize his education, the schedule, etc.
• Homeschooling is growing fast where we live, with more and more options available. I have many friends who homeschool who can share their tips with me. There are many co-ops, excursion groups, playdates and many other activities for homeschoolers.

Cons:

• I'm not sure I could pull it off. I can get disorganized, I may procrastinate, I may have other gazillion things to do and I'm afraid I won't be able to consistently keep up with the homeschooling curriculum and schedule I set when we start.
• I hear all the time that Patrick does very well in the school setting. When I'm around, or when I'm the one teaching him, he gets very distracted, doesn't try hard enough. Seeing other kids performing certain tasks at school, make him feel like he has to do them as well. At home however, he won't follow instructions or practice enough.
• I also have a 3 year old! Many of the extracurricular activities for homeschoolers require parent participation, and having also a 3 year old with me would limit my options.

CONCLUSION: I need to put together what the schedule would look like for my son. I need to find the homeschooling resources in my area. For instance, I found something called Classical Conversations, and Skye Chase Co-op, both near me, both Christian, and both sound fantastic. These are once-a-week meetings each, so I need to find additional resources. I must come up with ideas on what to do with Robbie while I'm attending these classes with Patrick. Having a schedule set, a price set and all my options set, I will have a better idea if this is the way to go.

***

This is where I'm right now. I will update in a couple months once we have made our decision. One thing I know for sure, is that either option we choose, it may end up being only for one year. Then re-evaluate, and see if he needs to move to a different setting.

My evaluation of Patrick's preschool year

It's been an unusual long time since my last post. There hasn't been any particular reason, but there has been definitely many things I have been meaning to write, and I hope I get to each of them in the upcoming weeks (months?).

Today I'm going to talk about Patrick finishing his first year of preschool. On the last day my husband and I went to the school to thank the teachers for all their patience and dedication to our Patrick. The teacher said Patrick was a very pleasant boy the whole year, and that he improved quite a lot, specially on his speech. She mentioned she is putting a suggestion to move Patrick, and another 2 kids from his group to the afternoon program. She believes these three kids have improved the most and would benefit greatly from more challenging activities, which are offered to the afternoon class. It isn't guaranteed that the change will happen, but it looks like a good possibility!

Patrick can count (sometimes) up to 10, however, he often likes to go by pairs. When he is getting ready to go down the slide, for example, instead of counting 1, 2, 3 and go, he says: 2, 4, 6 and go! We don't know why he does this, but I actually find it funny. He doesn't know his ABCs, and can't sing any song, but he is happy to do the body movements each songs invites (Head and Shoulders, Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider). He is able to sort by colors, but he is able to name only 1 or 2 colors. He only differentiates circles from lines, not any other shape. He may be able to identify one or two letters, and this is just sometimes. His drawing is still very similar to that of his 18 month old brother. Based on this skills, I could say that Patrick wasted all his year at preschool, because, really, he didn't learn much, and also, he has learned these same things from me at home.

But I didn't send Patrick to special preschool to learn the alphabet, so to be honest, I'm not too concerned about all that. Right now, when it comes to Patrick's skills, my two biggest concerns are his language and social skills, and these were the main reasons why he attended preschool. When he started school, Patrick was just beginning to put two words together, it was very rare that you would hear "mommy come", or "baby eat." And if having a limited vocabulary wasn't enough, his pronunciation was very poor, too, making it difficult for anyone to understand. Today, his pronunciation of most words are close to how they are supposed to sound. He has mastered putting two words together, and he's slowly beginning to use three words, like "Mommy come here". Now I have a very talkative toddler, and I attribute that to the school. Every single day they sang at school, did pretend play with friends, learned new vocabulary -different from what he would have been exposed at home, and all of this was directed by special education teachers who knew, better than me, how to help him achieve all that.

In regard to his social skills, a year ago Patrick wouldn't play if there were other kids close to him. He would step back and observe all the time. If we were at the playground or the soft room, he would prefer to watch them play, wait for them to be gone (or at least not too close), and then he would imitate what the other kids were doing. Today, Patrick doesn't mind the other kids. He is able to play his own games while kids are next to him, and that's an improvement that I attribute to him being able to play, eat, sing, work... every single day with other kids at school. There is, of course, much room for improvement, for instance, it would be great if Patrick actually played with the kids, rather than just not mind that there are children around him, but I will talk about this on my next post. In the meantime, let me end this post with a few pictures of Patrick's school days.

Waiting for the bus

Patrick running to us after his last day of school

Patrick and his teacher!

We like to hang Patrick's arts and crafts. He likes to point and say "Packi did!"

We took a pirate boat tour on the Potomac to celebrate his last day of school

Pirates stealing the treasure! We better get them!

Patrick misses riding the bus, and says he misses his teacher and friends as well. Fortunately, this long school break happens during the summer (when the weather is nice and we can do all sorts of outdoor activities) so I hope he has been having as much fun with us as he seems to have when he is in school!

Preschool Update

Patrick has been in school for one month, so I figured it was time to give an update.

The basics:

• Patrick attends school Mondays from 9:00-11:30 am, and Tuesday-Friday from 9:00-12:15 pm.
• The bus picks him up around 8:35 am, in front of my house. Only preschool children are in it, and there are 2 adults (the driver and another lady that makes sure the kids are behaving). On Mondays, he gets dropped off around noon, and T-F, around 12:50 pm.
• He eats one snack everyday, and T-F he also gets lunch.
• There are 7 children in his special class, including him, and all are around 3 years of age. They are attending from various reasons, ranging from a few developmental delays (like Patrick), to other medical issues like Down Syndrome.
• The school is only couple miles from my house, and is part of Fairfax County Public School.
• The teacher and the parents have a communication system in which we use a notebook to write any notes, questions or concerns. Patrick is the transporter taking the notebook from school to home and back the next day.

 The cons:

• It was painful to say good-bye the first day. And the second and third. I could tell he had been crying at school, so that was making me sad as well. 
• Patrick is coming home really hungry, which tells me he is not eating his lunch. As you may know, nutrition is something we have been dealing with, so it's very important that he eats well during the day!
• He takes a quick nap in the bus on the way home, which means he doesn't want to take a nap in the house anymore! 
• The first couple of weeks, his behavior had changed for the worst. He would come home and try to hit his brother, be extremely loud, messy... luckily it seems to had been just a phase, that hopefully won't comeback.
• The worst part is, I can't see what he is doing at school!! I would love to see how he is behaving, how he interacts with his teacher and friends, what arts and crafts he is doing, how he plays, what he learns... I'm not asking to be there everyday, but I would love to sneak in just once, to see him in his new environment. 

The pros:

• He is saying more words!!! The best part is, he is pronouncing some words better. Remember how he would say "na" for Sam, and "ni" for Tim? Well, after a week of being in school, he started saying Sam and Tim perfectly!! There is still no conversation, and is still complicated for anyone who is not mommy and daddy to understand him, but, I'm seeing the biggest and fastest improvement ever.
• There is a speech therapist, a physical therapist and an occupational therapist evaluating the kids and making suggestions for parents and teachers. Patrick actually receives a one-on-one session with the PT once a week. 
• While Patrick is in school, I get mommy and baby time. I want to make sure I give Robbie his very own time, just like Patrick had it when he was the only child. Patrick loves being around baby and me, so unless he is sleeping, I can't enjoy cuddling and playing just with Robbie, at Robbie's pace. I have to say, Robbie misses him a little.

• I can get more things done around the house, and outside the house! It's easier doing groceries and running errands with one baby than with a baby AND a toddler! I know, mothers of 2+ children do it, but I'm still practicing!!
• Before he started school, we would do some arts and crafts, or specific activities that would improve his fine motor skills. Now that he is in school, he gets to do that in school AND at home. Loads of practice!!
• He is learning new things, faster. He is now starting to count, is coloring better, likes dancing and gesturing to kids tunes, and is doing all the things I tried to teach him but that he wasn't much into it. I guess that now that he does these things with a group of little people just like him, it's a lot more fun and so he wants to do it, too!

• Patrick is interacting everyday with children with special needs. This means that his first school friends are children that are often marginalized, stigmatized and bullied by other children. But these children will be Patrick's friends, he will learn to love them, care for them and realize that the true value of one person is not in the things you can or can't do, but in your soul. We can tell and teach our kids that, but he is living it, everyday. He is witnessing first hand!
• At first I thought that by being in a classroom with children significantly behind in their developments, would make Patrick's development slow down or at least not improve as fast as if he was interacting with kids that are ahead of him. As much as I want Patrick to be inspired by other kids and get motivated to do more things, I think is also a blessing if Patrick could be the one inspiring those kids and motivating them to walk, talk, color, sing and dance!
• Best part is, he loves going to school. He wakes up every morning (even over the weekends!) so excited to get ready and take the "bu" (bus) to go to "coo" (school). 

Hands down, I recommend that children with special needs are enrolled in activities that stimulate their imagination and willingness to do things. There are only so many activities a week I could enroll Patrick in, mostly because specialized education is expensive and rarely covered by insurances. So I'm glad we are able to receive these services from the County at no cost (well, our taxes are paying for it!) 

I have some issues with the school system the way it is and where is heading, that I'm even considering homeschooling my children, for some of their school years (when they are not attending Catholic School). I will talk more about this later, but I can say right now that the 3 hours a day he spends interacting with children, receiving specialized attention and direction for his special needs, will go a long way in improving his developmental delays and making the difference that I can't provide at home by myself. I strongly recommend it!

Special Education Preschool

Patrick is eligible!

I just received a call from Fairfax County Public Schools, to let me know that Patrick was found eligible to receive services from the Special Education department.

What this means?

It means that starting September, Patrick will attend Preschool. He will be 2 months short of being 3 years of age, but in the Special Education System, children can start as young as 2 years old. He will attend school with children that have similar developmental delays (about 6-8 children per 2 Special Education Teachers in each class.) We have heard great things about Fairfax schools, specially the ones by us, and, specially, the Special Education Preschool. We started the process about 3 months ago, and we still have one more meeting to find out how many times per week he will be attending, how many hours, and what are the goals, and answers to all my dozen questions.

This is bittersweet for me, for two reasons:

a) This means my Patrick will be gone during the day. I will miss him. Most importantly, he will miss me. :-(
Patrick is with me ALL the time. Yesterday, when the family was hanging out in the living room, Patrick told daddy "mine! mine!" while pointing at me. I was blushing! Patrick thinks knows I belong to him. When he plays with other kids at the park or at the moms meetings, he comes often to check on me, to make sure I'm still around. But I won't be around at school. He will cry, I know it already. At least the few first times. And I will cry at home because my baby is gone. You see how attached we are to each other? So, I know it's actually good he is going to school. He needs to socialize more, and be more independent, and I need to let go. So, it's all good. :-)

b) Patrick is a child with "special needs". :-( He will be attending a Special Education Preschool, not a regular school. Remember my dilemma about Patrick being a child with disabilities? So, knowing that your child has officially the "special needs" label, isn't easy for us. But, at the same time, given his delays, I'm glad he has that label. Let me explain why: From what I was told today, there are children that have serious issues in their physical, emotional and social developments, but those are due to the child's environment (e.g. parents that don't pay them attention, very poor living conditions, not access to proper health care, violence at home...) and if this was the case, then Patrick would fall into a different category. The fact that Patrick is found to be a "special needs" child, reassures us that it has nothing to do with the life we as parents are providing to him, but rather, is the way he was born.

I will write another post after we have said meeting, to explain a bit further what is going on and why is this so important to any child with disadvantages. I just wanted to do a quick note to write about him being eligible. In the meantime, here is a video of my sweet boys playing this morning.